Silent Renewal: Meditation, Mysticism, and Nature’s Role in Overcoming Burnout

Habe you ever experienced mental and spiritual exhaustion? I’m not talking about just being tired. I mean being completely drained to the point to where you want to be secluded from society. If you have, keep reading.

When some people see me, they think that I absolutely love being in crowds of people. They think that I am an extrovert among all extroverts because I try to speak to everyone who I come into contact with daily. The folks who think this about me do not know me at the intimate level that my family does. If these people knew who I really am, they would know that while I enjoy being around people, I would prefer to just spend time with my family or be by myself.

For years, while people are seeing me one way, they do not realize that I feel like an outcast in their presence. Their conversations do not interest me because I view the world differently from them. This happens during every day life conversations, financial, religious, political, and cultural conversations. Many of these conversations are one sided to the point to where they are verbally vomiting their opinions into the universe. They are not having conversations for dialogue sake. These conversations are a one way dead end street instead of being two way super highways of intellectual conversations between spiritual beings. They people use these activities as moments as spiritual trash dumps to make themselves feel better about life.

This becomes frustrating for me because I have felt like a fish out of water on multiple occasions throughout my life because I have felt too “country” or small town to be around city folks, too black to be in some situations, not black enough for other situations, too ignorant about subjects being discussed, too educated to be having remedial conversations, too hopeful to be in negative conversations, too cynical to be in other situations, and sometimes I feel like I am the only person thinking in the situation. I have learned to adjust but it is mentally exhausting because in many of those situations, my views are never entertained because these people want me as a conversational garbage disposal. Rarely am I ask how I feel or what I think in any of these situations.

This is part of the reason why you see my writings about mysticism, nature, meditation, and other forms of Spiritual Formation. This is how I recharge from the monotony of dealing with humans self centered humans. During election years, this is heightened because I hear, see, and read every emotion that people are feeling. In one way, it helps me to understand where I stand with you. But on the other hand, it helps me to understand how I can plant seeds to help you to think about different perspectives. I enjoy the pastoral moment because I love encouraging others and planting spiritual seeds for the Spirit of God.

However, all of this has helped me to see the benefits of protecting my mental health in the process. This is why I decline some social invitations for social interaction. This is why I use the weekends as spiritual detoxification moments and time to spend with my loved ones. If you do not see me at your event or in your church building, it is not so much about me being mad at you. But it is about me trying to recharge from a mentally exhausting moment, day, or week. Sometimes, human social interactions cannot give me what nature and the spirit world can. I love humanity but I also love me too and I have to practice the Lee Williams approach and “Still Away.”

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

Audre Lorde