Reckoning with Whiteness

Have you ever had a nightmare and wake up to realize that nightmare was not reality but seemed real because of how it made you feel? If you have followed my blog for a while, then you know that I grew up in Pulaski, TN and that I was raised by the Black Church of Christ. I had the privilege of being raised by parents who taught me to see the humanity in all humans. At this point, you may be wondering what the nightmare was. It took me until I was in my mid-30s to begin to understand that I had bought into a system that did not have my best interests in mind. Before I go deeper into my explanation, I want you to understand that I will be using terminology that may be foreign to you and you may believe that I am attempting to offend you as a person. I can assure you that if you are reading to understand, I will help you to see the result of some unseen forces that reveal themselves through flesh. Anyone who reads this and gets offended may find that they themselves are guardians of these spirits.

The nightmare that I found out I was living was that fact that I was a well trained agent of Whiteness. I became aware that my religious convictions and my biblical training had taught me to practice a theology that was detrimental not only to me but to those around me. It was not teaching me to fully embrace who God made me to be and it did not encourage me to fully be me.

Now you may ask, “What is Whiteness?” Society has taught us that what is white is pure and clean. But did you know that the terms “white” and “race” were social constructs invented by humans to separate people by skin color and socioeconomic status?

“From about the 1550s to 1600, “white” was exclusively used to describe elite English women, because the whiteness of skin signaled that they were persons of a high social class who did not go outside to labor. However, the term white did not refer to elite English men because the idea that men did not leave their homes to work could signal that they were lazy, sick, or unproductive. Initially, the racial identity of “white” referred only to Anglo-Saxon people and has changed due to time and geography. As the concept of being white evolved, the number of people considered white would grow as people wanted to push back against the increasing numbers of people of color, due to emancipation and immigration.”

Source: https://nmaahc.si.edu/learn/talking-about-race/topics/historical-foundations-race

So the concept or ideology of Whiteness is not a Fruit of the Spirit of God because it seeks to divide by adding a hierarchical structure of one group as being superior to another. I find it interesting that concepts rooted in European philosophy and secular reasoning became the accepted norm of the world over the biblical understanding of the Text and how God intended the Kingdom to be.

When I speak against “Whiteness” I am pushing back against this notion that to flourish and obtain positions of power in a system (whether it be a corporate, religious, etc) that I have to erase my melanin, disrespect those who look like me, oppress others, or sell my soul to fit into the context of what this divisive and evil spirit believes I should be. So, this nightmare was similar to being in the “sunken place” that the movie “Get Out” visualized for us. It was the internal struggle of listening to the messages of Nation of Islam  and the Five Percenters which taught me to love the skin that I’m in but then hearing the pulpit tell me to be more concerned about my soul than my melaninated body. The thought process of the educational pathway I was intending to take was paved with the red bricks of the politically conservative leaning ideology. It reminds me of what wrote about in my blog called “Holy Wounds.”

Source: https://www.edupreneurialtheologian.com/blog/holy-wounds-exposing-america-s-christian-failures

All of my religious resources were written by men of European descent who were preachers of the Church of Christ. Then, I was going to go to a school that was run by preachers of European descent who expected me to look the way they said I should look in order for me to learn and share the biblical teachings of Jesus. Thank God that there were people in my corner who steered me towards expanding my intellect. Because of them, I have had the honor to come into contact with some world renowned scholars and had the privilege to receive encouragement from them to reach for the moon in my educational endeavors.

For some years now, I have had this spiritual experience of waking up between 2am - 4am or so. During these episodes, I will have a thought about something and this thought will not leave me until I agreed to do it. Then, I could go back to sleep. The first time this happened to me, I ignored this thought but kept having the same reoccurring episode around the same time for days. So, I finally decided to deliver the message to the person who this thought was about. It was uncomfortable for me to deliver this message but I found out it was the exact message that this person needed to hear from God. It was at that moment that I started to understand this disturbance of sleep was a nudge from the Spirit of God to deliver a message to another child of God. Even though I felt awkward delivering the message, I was overjoyed to see how the person received the message from God. The second time it happened, I was so moved by how appreciative the person was about the message that my eyes started sweating. Well… I had another one of those episodes preparing for this blog post. The only difference is that I will not get to see the joy that it brings to some, but I have a sneaky suspicion that I will hear from those who reject the message given to me to pass to you.

The message was to give some personal examples of how whiteness works and how it seeks to terrorize your psyche. I was an Assistant Store Manager at an old job when the Store Manager left. Be advised that I had to run the store on the days that the Manager was not there. So, I was already doing the job and getting the experience but Whiteness told me that I was not even good enough for an interview. For years, I never wanted to be in management because of that incident. But one day, I applied again for a management position at another job. Whiteness found a way to keep me from interviewing. A manager was hired from the outside. But after that manager left, I told Whiteness that this would not have happened had I been hired. Whiteness told me that I did not have what it took to be in management. This is after I had held (3) management positions before starting that job. Whiteness kept me from promotions for years until the last (2) years as God has blessed me with (2) promotions. In the world of religion, I was told by Whiteness that just because I was seeking to energize a song service with some soul, I was seeking a show and I was sing the wrong way. Whiteness denied me teaching opportunities. Whiteness denied me a preaching position because I refused to preach in a way that elders could control my sermons. I have preached sermons that never got me another invite. I know the sermons were impactful in encouraging some because these messages were passed to me. But because those with money and some in charge took issue with what was said, I met much resistance. Some of this resistance reached over into the academic world and got me questioned by collegiate leaders about a Facebook post from years ago. Although the gentleman disagreed with the post, he didn’t even realize that his questioning of me spoke to exactly what I was speaking about in the post. So, I asked him if any of my students had ever complained about my teaching style or the content that I taught. His answer was a resounding, “No.” This once again let me know that Whiteness was at work to silence my voice. This is what it does. It will recruit unsuspecting and power hungry people to be bastions of its plot to keep people divided. If you have time I advise you to get the following book:

God has taught me how to navigate Whiteness and how to prevail over it time and time again. I remember being told that Whiteness is terrified of my Black Intellect. I want to encourage the reader to not allow this evil spirit to convince you that you are less than because of your skin color, your gender, your academic status, or your economic status. Be the best person that God created you to be. Whiteness will seek to keep you subservient. I am not saying the next phrase to be arrogant or facetious. Sometimes you will find yourself in rooms with others who are not on your intellectual level. While in these rooms, you may find yourself dumbing yourself down to not step on the proverbial toes of those who call themselves in charge. Whiteness will do this to you. But stay the course, it will be frustrating but God will help you to prevail and elevate you to your next level in due time. The nightmare will end but don’t get stuck in the “sunken place.” Don’t become a grifter. Don’t sell your soul to be accepted into Whiteness! God’s Kingdom is one of diverse unity through the Jesus of the Gospels according to the Book of Acts. This is not what Whiteness teaches. It’s very nature is antithetical to the Spirit of God.