A Silent Retreat at Poustinia

By

Robert A. Jackson, Jr.

I can remember trying to work this retreat into my schedule. I was a little concerned because I had to carve out the 48 hours during the weekend, but I also had to preach. So, I started my retreat on October 9th, 2014. It was a Thursday Evening and I remember rushing to get to Poustinia. Even though it was right across town, I felt like it was a world away from me. I remember calling my wife to let her know that I made it right at 5pm.

When I got inside, I started looking around the room. I noticed that this place was very serene. After that week of craziness, I needed some peace and quiet. So, I took some time to unwind by taking deep breaths to calm myself from the hectic week. My class syllabus helped to guide me through the rest of my weekend. I read over it to find the best way to spend my next 48 hours in silence.

Before I got started, I took time out to take pictures of this room because I wanted to share this experience with my wife once I got back home. I remember that Lucy Malone (the owner) told me that she was going to have snacks for me. But I had no idea that she was going to have a room full of goodies. Those goodies consisted of the following:

• A pouch full of snacks
• A banana
• An apple
• Homemade cookies
• Banana bread
• Corn muffins
• A Turkey & Cheese Wrap
• Yogurt
• Homemade vegetable soup
• Apple Juice
• 2 bottles of water
• A Coke Zero

As you can see, I had plenty waiting on me when I got there. That may not mean much to most people, but it meant a lot to me. This sister in Christ had taken time out to make sure that my stay was as comfortable as possible. I saw God at work in just this small gesture.

Since it rained almost the entire time I was there, I decided to listen to the sounds of nature during my reflection time. I raised a window and took time to listen to the rain and the other sounds of nature. It was beautiful. While reflecting, I remember sitting outside as a child and just listening to nature. Wow, I had been participating in spiritual practices as a child. I never it until this weekend.

I started reading a book that I was given at my high school graduation. I didn’t understand why I wanted to read this book after it sat around for 15 years. The book was “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. It was very fitting that I started reading this book this particular weekend.

I remember thinking; “This was going to be a long few days.” I had become so dependent on electronics that I thought I was going to get bored. Instead, I found this time to be relaxing and refreshing. Being alone was a different experience. This was probably the first time that I had been by myself for an extended period. This was also the first time that I could ever remember sitting in silence for more than a few minutes. But I quickly started to realize that Jesus might have gone off to himself to pray so that He could get focused on God.

During the first few hours of being there, I prayed to God several times about different things. I prayed for one of my former students that had just gone through a miscarriage, cousins that were about to bury their father, and my family. I prayed more than what I was accustomed to doing. I remember praying for the individual components of my food. I prayed to God in thanksgiving for the people who prepared my food as well as the ones who had taken the time to grow my food. When I ate, I remember taking time to savor the taste. I need to practice this every day. I believe that it will make me even more appreciative of the food that God continues to put on my table every single day of my life.

As I was walking through Poustinia, I noticed that Lucy had some soap from this company called Thistle Farms. I was curious to find out more about this company. So, I read the label of this soap. I was so moved that this company was established to help women escape the grasp of prostitution. I believe that Thistle Farms is doing a great work. Being exposed to these products during the retreat made me want to support Thistle Farms once I left.

During the 48 hours, I decided that I was going to re-read the New Testament. I wanted to read it to try to understand it the way it was intended to be read, not through my tradition’s way of viewing the scriptures. I tried to allow the Spirit to open my mind to understanding the Scriptures. This practice was very beautiful. I was able to see things that I’ve never seen. One of the main things that I saw was how Jesus used women in His ministry. I read some of these passages several times to make sure that I wasn’t missing some details. I was amazed to find that I had never paid attention to the details of what women did in the First Century Church. I was too busy fighting against female preachers and what women couldn’t do.

I remember reading Acts 1 and 2 and seeing something that I never noticed. I remember hearing these chapters taught a certain way. I remember reading them a certain way. And I remember teaching and preaching them a certain way. But when I read them this time, I noticed that I had been teaching something that did not exist in the Text. I was so adamant that I was right that I read several versions of the Bible to back up the teachings of my tradition. This was huge for me because when I did not find what I was looking for, I learned how arrogant I was. This was definitely a humbling experience.

I also learned that I had misunderstood the Apostle Paul when he talked about worship. I had put all of my emphasis in teaching and preaching about what could and couldn’t be done on Sunday morning. But I didn’t put much emphasis on the worship that Jesus followers are supposed to offer daily. Oh, how my eyes were starting to open!

My retreat at Poustinia helped me to better understand that every good gift truly comes from God. I found myself supporting things that I normally would not support because of wanting to stay true to the traditional roots of my upbringing and not support anything that wasn’t associated with my religious affiliation.

Before I conclude this post, I have to share this story of what happened as a result of my Silent Retreat. On the Saturday before I left, I wrote a prayer. My mind was blown the last time I practiced this prayer. However, I decided to do it again since I was about to be reintroduced to society.

In this prayer, I asked God what I needed to do when I left Poustinia. I had one thing in mind, but God had something else in store for me. As I sat and waited for the answer, I was amazed that this prayer worked again. However, I thought that this answer was rather interesting. I saw four young people that I’ve taught over the years. I saw two of them with me at the congregation that I was attending at the time. I asked, “Of all of the people that I know, why these four young people?” Well, I learned the answer to this question.

On November 14, 2014, Tiffany sent me a text message asking me if I wanted to go out to eat at a local restaurant called the “Rusty Spur”. I decided not to answer until I got home. A thought popped into my head about something that I had told another local business owner. I remembered that I had expressed to her that I wanted her business to stay opened. So, I decided to take my family to dine at S.I.L.K Cafe.

When I walked through the door, I saw one of the young ladies that I had seen in this vision from the Silent Retreat. I decided that now was the time to reach out. I knew that we would be visiting Otter Creek that Sunday and we wanted to do something different on Sunday Night. So, I invited this young lady to come over to the house to hang out with us at 5pm. 

I’m giving all of the following details because of what happened on that Sunday afternoon. It makes my heart happy every time I think about it.

On November 16, we visited Otter Creek and had an experience of a lifetime. After we ate lunch, Tiffany was very adamant about stopping at Sam’s Club to get some strawberries because she believes they have the best ones. When we got home, I reminded her that the young lady was coming over at 5pm. Tiffany had forgotten, and she tried to cancel. However, I wouldn’t do it.

The young lady made it to the house a little after 5pm. She began to tell us that she thought she was going to have to cancel because she was supposed to be in dance practice at that time, but the coach changed the schedule. The young lady and I were talking and getting reacquainted. Then, Tiffany asked if we wanted something to eat. Of course, we said, “Yes”. When the young lady received her plate, she thanked Tiffany and told her, “These strawberries are so good! Strawberries are my favorite!”

After a few minutes, Tiffany and I could tell that she wanted more food. I started paying attention and realized that this young lady was hungry. I asked her how much food she had at the house and realized that my sister was starving. This is when I found the answer to the vision from the Silent Retreat. I then proceeded to share the story with her of how I was praying for one thing but how God revealed that I needed to reach out to her. We also recounted all of the events of the day to see that everything worked out for that moment of enlightenment about my sister’s living situation. I’m constantly in awe with how God works.

This Silent Retreat Experience reminded me of the events that took place after Jesus went off to himself to pray. Something big happened when he came back to society. As the old saying goes, “When God shows up, He shows out!”