How My Children And Spirituality Transfigured Me To Become A Writing Activist

Introduction

In my last blog post, I spoke about spirituality and connecting with ancestors. I would be remiss if I didn’t deal with how spirituality has helped me to embrace my entire humanity and how it will help the reader to see that spirituality is needed to deal with the injustices of this world.

This blog post deals with the power that El-Roi gives through a strong spiritual connection and how the Holy Spirit uses the Ancestors to give us the strength to endure.

This blog post is for those that are ready to receive a word. Hopefully, it will help those who are still struggling by allowing the Spirit to work in their lives. 

Becoming A Father

I still remember the Wednesday Night in July of 2011 when Tiffany came into the bedroom to let me know that I was going to become a Daddy. I remember that I was happy and nervous at the same time. 

This was about to be a new season in my life. I had no idea what to expect. I still remember the very first ultrasound when I got to see Leah’s heartbeat. This is when it became real to me. Fast forward to 2019. Leah asked for a sibling for Christmas. Lo and behold, a few days after Christmas, we found out we were starting this newborn thing all over again after a (7) year hiatus. 

During Tiffany’s pregnancies with Leah and Chandler, we were exposed to some scary moments. In a few of those moments, (2) separate ER doctors (7 years apart) had us believing that Tiffany had had (2) miscarriages. Those that know understand that these particular doctors had no idea of what they were talking about on those days. I will speak more about that later. 

Fast forward to 2023. I’m the father to (2) intelligent and beautiful little Black Girls with the prettiest melanated skin. Tiffany and I want them to know that God made them to be who they are, and it does not matter who does not like it. You see, we reject and rebuke this Westernized Eurocentric Notion that somehow beauty is only found in the recessive traits that we were taught in science class. The following are some of the things that we want not only our girls to understand but also all melanated children.

An Encouraging Word

If there is a young melanated girl or boy reading this, we want you to know that not only are you enough, but you are also more. You are more than what society wants you to be. You are more than the dominant narrative about yourself. You are more than what American Ideology (media, politics, religion, and entertainment) has portrayed you to be. We want you to be proud of who God made you to be. We want you to be proud of your skin no matter the shade of your melanin. Be proud of your hair whether it is curly, straight, or if it reaches to the heavens like a crown of greatness. Stop believing the Eurocentric belief that we have passed through the culture that your hair is nappy. Look closely. They are actually tiny groups of curly hair. Your intellect is top notch. The school systems just don’t understand how to tap into your creative mind. Your internal greatness does not always function well in the small boxes that were created for what is considered the standard way of thinking. You are the product of greatness because no matter what life or society threw at your ancestors, they overcame it and created something out of nothing. That is the royalty of your DNA. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. 

If truth be told, others want to be like you. They want your looks, your hair, your physical features, your creativity, your rhythm, your voice, your recipes, your patience, your love, your strength, your physical talents, and your overall greatness. If you don’t believe me, go read about your history and how someone always sought to steal your talents and ideas to make them their own and profit off them. So, don’t ever seek to be less than who God created you to be. 

Introspection

Someone reading this is upset now. If it is you, let me ask you a question. Why? My love for my Blackness has never interfered with me loving other people. Blackness is not just about the skin color that has been associated with my identity, it is about my whole being (my human body and my spiritual being). It does not operate like the concept of Whiteness. When I use the concept of Whiteness, I need you to pay attention and read this with an open mind. If you approach this message with your preconceived notions, you will miss my point. 

Defining A Destructive Ideology

When I address the ideology of Whiteness, I’m looking at how events of history have shaped this current world. European Countries like Britain, France, Spain, Portugal, Russia, Scandinavia (Denmark, Norway, Sweden), and the Netherlands came to the Americas (North & South) exploring and stealing land and claiming it to be their own. History teaches us that these countries went into these lands and sought to completely destroy their way of life and claim the land as their own through the evil but legal practice of thievery called, Manifest Destiny. This period of time was full of genocide, erasure of history, erasure of culture, and erasure of identity. This is Whiteness. My definition of Whiteness is based on the history of European Colonialism. It is the ideology that one group is dominant to other groups and that everyone should assimilate to the history, culture, and identity of the dominant group. The concept of Whiteness seeks to oppress others and dominate the narrative of how the dominant group came into power by negating and suppressing the history of the atrocities and destruction that were committed towards the oppressed groups. Whiteness is a manmade construct that was created to establish dominance in society. It has formed a super alliance of people from different cultures. No one and I repeat, no one has ever been born white. It is not scientifically possible. Yet, a person can have a melanin deficiency. This is why reading and research are important. History and science tell the story. The term “white” did not exist to identify groups of people until the 17th Century.

Even though Whiteness is not necessarily about the color of one’s skin but a created identity, it has been predominantly practiced by prominent men of Eurocentric origins. It is about the ideology, philosophy, and theology that Eurocentric thinking has produced about believing others should assimilate to thoughts and actions that originated with European practices from history and oppressing others in the process. It is enforced through literature, education, the various forms of media, governance, and religion.

Whiteness has destroyed many cultures and then demonized them by using religion to teach others to stay away from the oppressed’s cultures because it did not understand the spiritual connection between these people and the Creator. 

The spirit of Whiteness is evil because it devalues and dehumanizes others. It has not only sought to destroy the cultures of indigenous people and enslaved people, but it has also dehumanized those who practice it and who reap the benefits of bowing down to its assimilating nature. 

Personification of Ubuntu

The concept of Blackness follows the pattern of the African philosophy of Ubuntu. This means that “I am because we are, and we are because I am.” Blackness by the nature of the spirit is communal. It is concerned about protecting itself but also the well-being of others. It does not seek to destroy to elevate itself. 

Anyone can follow either of these philosophies. We choose Blackness and choose to teach our children this philosophy because it coincides with our theology. We want them to love who God created them to be and they should not be ashamed of that. 

But here is the problem with the preceding. Right now, people look at our daughters and see (2) smart and cute little Black Girls that will grow up to be intelligent and gorgeous Black Women. People see their innocence. But my question is what will they see when our daughters grow up to reject the assimilation and idol worship of Whiteness? Will our daughters be respected for who God made them to be? Will people be okay with them rejecting the dominant narrative that teaches anyone who does not accept the ideology of Whiteness is an outcast? 

I question this because as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated in one of his speeches, “There are (2) Americas”. While our daughter’s friends are just nonchalantly living life, we have to teach our girls the history or this country so they will understand the ignorance of the people they will come in contact with and teach them the mental and spiritual survival tools of the ancestors so they can thrive within the context of these States that have yet to be United. 

Empowerment

I implore the melanated readers of this post to stop lying to yourself that this society truly loves you for who you are versus what you can provide to it. Your presence is needed for diversity. Your knowledge is needed for education. Your athleticism is needed for entertainment. Your vocals are needed for songs. Your seasoning is needed for cuisines. Your melanin, hair, and physique are needed for beauty standards. Your creativity is needed for progress. Your love is needed for humanity. 

Therefore, believe that it is your God given right to have equity in every situation and space that you find yourself in throughout life. If you do not receive it, that space may not be conducive for your mental or spiritual well-being. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you demanding that others respect your humanity. Teach your children to not only protect themselves physically but also protect their mental and spiritual wellness. Their entire humanity is important, and they should not subject themselves to being disrespected or disregarded by any other human.

When we are truly appreciated, this society will admit how much we have contributed to it to improve it. People would see color and appreciate the beauty of God’s Creation when we were created. We would not be reduced to being looked at as less than, second class citizens, super predators, thugs, or people deserving of death. They will follow the example of Paul when he withstood Peter to his face. People can no longer sit back and act like injustices are not happening daily. People also have to get to the point that they stop making excuses, stop cuddling, and stop protecting those who practice these injustices. The end of the Romans 1 Text is harsh in its teachings but Paul addresses those who support injustices by stating they are just as guilty as those who practice them. 

Issues in the System

Earlier, I talked about the (2) ER doctors that told us that we had lost both of our children due to miscarriages and how it devastated us. We were crushed to hear this from medical professionals. But I’ve wondered how many young women (especially women of color) have received this news (true or false) and did not have a support system. This is why I believe there should be more compassion shown in those moments. I believe that instead of the ER Docs making that call, they should refer the young women to their OB/GYN so they will be in a more comforting environment instead of getting this news from a doctor who is literally under a time crunch to see the next patient. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, those (2) heartbeats that we have watched grow into our daughters mean the world to us. They will always be our babies. Once again, I ask the question of when does this “Christian Nation” choose to no longer see them as the intelligent and beautiful souls that they are but start to view them as a threat to the dominate narrative and current power structure?